30 May

Behind closed doors, all over the Inner West, barely controlled chaos reigns. We are teetering on the edge of complete anarchy, people. How do I know this? Because I now have two children.

When I was pregnant, those mums would smile benignly at me as they herded their little cherubs around the park or strolled through the market behind a neat and tidy Phil and Ted’s packed with little poppets.

I know now that those smiles had to be fake. How do people do this and remain sane?

By the skin of their teeth, is my conclusion.

I understand now that the merest crack, the tiniest show of weakness or uncertainly can have fearsome consequences, that the smallest slip can have you tumbling down a snot smeared, Peppa Pig hole into a special kind of delirium, with wine the only possible saviour.

Too much? I think not.

Obviously the psychopaths that gush, “enjoy every minute” are in need of a reminder of the realities of juggling a newborn and a preschooler. I confess I may get violent with the next person who says, “it goes so fast”. I invite them to spend from 4 til 7pm at my place. Those three hours are a time warp. Pity my poor husband on the days he’s more than five minutes late from work.

Yes, yes, these days will be a distance memory all too soon. But I’ll refrain from pointing that out to the next mum I see waddling along with a bun in the oven and a toddler in tow. I’ll suggest she stock the freezer and the wine cellar and simply wish her nerves of steel.


2 Responses to “Confessions”

  1. Roar Sweetly May 31, 2013 at 7:00 am #

    It’s bloody hard. I was so grateful my husband was doing his PhD when my second was born and we were able to juggle the two together. I’ve noticed recently that it’s a bit easier…since the second turned 20 months. Mostly they get up to all sorts of mischief and it’s about breaking up fights!

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